Shakespeare’s Birth/Deathday

If you’re looking for the perfect gift to celebrate the Bard’s birth/deathday, here are a few ideas. All three of these are now on sale, and you can find them here!

Happy reading.

Dellecher Classical Conservatory 

“We expect you to be dedicated. We expect you to be determined. We expect you to dazzle us. And we do not like to be disappointed.”


Welcome to Dellecher Classical Conservatory. Enrollment begins April 11th, with If We Were Villains.

In the meantime, here’s a look at the school’s coat of arms. Hope you think it’s as awesome as I do.

P. S. It’s pronounced [dell-uh-ker].

–M

Green Eggs and Hamlet

(with my deepest apologies to Shakespeare and Dr. Seuss)

Can I kill my Uncle Claude?
Yes, I can, I can, by God!
I will kill my Uncle Claude!

Should I kill him in the house?
Should I kill him while he’s soused?
I could kill him here or there
I could kill him anywhere
Would I, could I, while he prays?
Kill him! Kill him! Wherefore stay?
I would not, could not, while he prays!

Not in the house, not when he’s soused,
Not with his sister, now his spouse!
Not while he prays, not while he feasts,
O, incestuous, adulterate beast!
I do not like my Uncle Claude,
I do not like that bloody bawd!

Say! In the dark? Here in the dark!
Would I, could I, in the dark?

Should I kill him in his bed?
Should I there strike off his head?
Kill him with his nightcap on?
Kill him when the churchyards yawn?
Should I kill him where he lies?
I will kill him, by and by!
I do not like my Uncle Claude,
I’ll kill him, i’ th’ name of God!

The play! The play! The play’s the thing!
The thing wherein I’ll catch the king!
No more ‘to be or not to be,’
I will kill him, you will see!

Kill him while he wears his crown
Kill him while his guard is down
Kill him with some poisoned wine
Kill him with this sword of mine
O, is the point envenomed, too?
I’m dead–Horatio, adieu!
But tell them, tell them, more or less,
Who it was that made this mess!

I did not like my Uncle Claude,
I killed him in the name of God!
Good friend report my cause aright–
A now, goodnight goodnight goodnight!